


Is This Love?-A Drarry Fanfic

by HermionePotter7



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Hogwarts Eighth Year, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-25
Updated: 2018-04-30
Packaged: 2019-03-23 17:15:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13792380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HermionePotter7/pseuds/HermionePotter7
Summary: It is Harry's final year at Hogwarts after the war, and looking back on his past years he slowly realizes he has some hidden feelings for someone he would never have expected while Draco confesses to a certain someone about a long time crush





	1. Confusion

Harry stopped. He heard something coming from the broom closet down the corridor. His heart wrenched. It was crying, and it wasn't the sobs that pulled on his heart. It was who they were coming from. Malfoy. He yearned for the ability to comfort him. He did know how it felt after all-nobody truly caring about how he feels. It got especially bad after the war, of course, he always had Ron and Hermione but they had each other and didn't spend as much time with him anymore. They were always snogging or flirting, but it never made him uncomfortable, it made him jealous. Harry wanted that. He never had that. Not really. Not with Cho or Ginny, after the war, things were just never the same. He died. He saved the wizarding world but he died in the process and people overlook this small detail. He's not the person everyone expects him to be. Not anymore. Did Harry want to comfort him, yes, but why? Because he was being empathetic? He was never sure when it came to the silver-haired Slytherin anymore. He felt something towards him that was foreign to his heart. 

The whole reason why Harry was roaming the halls past curfew in the first place was because he couldn't sleep, a problem that was the only consistent thing in his life. Tonight's dream was one of all of the people who had died for him, Tonks, Lupin, Fred, Mad-Eye and countless others, although these were the faces that plagued his mind most nights. He was always thinking of Teddy, how he and his godchild were so much alike yet so different, both of the boys' parents died to save Harry, but Teddy was being cared for by his grandmother and no doubt by Mrs.Weasley as well. He felt guilty that he was being raised without his parents because of him and sometimes he wondered if he should have stayed dead. Would everyone be better off without him? This was a thought that frequently crossed Harry's mind and pushed him to almost do something that Hermione would call extraordinarily stupid. As he wandered further down the corridor the sobs grew fainter until he could no longer hear them, at which time he arrived at the portrait of the fat lady. "Flobberworm", he said before the fat lady eyed him suspiciously and opened for him to return to his dorm. He had trouble getting to sleep, and when he did he oddly dreamt of Malfoy. Not like the dream he had during first year where he turned into Snape, but a pleasant one of laughter and what may have been friendship, which Harry found as equally disturbing yet strangely....... Pleasant? When he awoke the next morning he could hardly remember the dream at all, all he could remember was that it was of Malfoy and his heart gave a small sigh. No. What was that? Malfoy is a disgusting and foul creature who had hated him from the moment he had refused his proposal of friendship. Or did he? Harry shook of this uneasy feeling of uncertainty as he met with his friends before heading down to the great hall for breakfast.

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A/N:

Hullo, everyone! This is my first ever book let alone a fanfic! But I love Drarry and although I will not be able to do this ship justice I wanted to create something that you guys will enjoy! With that said I apologize for the short chapter, this is just an intro chapter but don't worry I'm already working on my next few chapters! This story was originally published on wattpad under @pandacorn2504 which is where my updates will come out first! Okay, until next time my friends, au revoir :)


	2. The Encounter

Another day passed and another hour of restless sleep has gone by before Harry decided to take his invisibility cloak and the marauder's map out for a stroll in the halls. 

" I solemnly swear that I am up to no good", he whispered as he exited the portrait hole and walked down the halls. As he walked down the corridors, he started humming something he had heard Dudley play during one of his piano lessons all those years ago. 

Just as he passed the wall where the room of requirement sometimes appeared on the seventh floor, a door appeared and with nothing else to do, he went inside. There was a beautiful piano and a fireplace beside it accompanied by a red velvet couch. The only thing that seemed to be lighting the room was the fire from the fireplace as well as a few candles on the floor lining a path of loosely spread rose pedals. It was a very romantic setting, and for some reason, he wished Draco were here. Strange. He shook off the thought and sat down at the piano - he had always wanted to play a real one. When Dudley had lessons, he would always watch, unnoticed by the Dursleys. One year for his birthday, out of his 300 or so presents, Dudley had been given a keyboard, and whenever the Dursleys abandoned him to go to a social event or family outing, he would sneak into Dudley's room and practiced on the small electric piano and teach himself new things.

He started to play something simple, but he soon decided to play 'Can't Help Falling In Love' by a muggle artist named Elvis Presley since it was such a romantic setting. Then, he heard someone singing- quiet at first, but then rose louder while still keeping it's soft and elegant sound. It was beautiful, Harry thought, angelic. He had never heard a voice like that, so effortlessly beautiful. He played until the end of the song so he could hear the singing for as long as possible.

After he finished playing, he turned around and scanned the room, and then he saw it- the top of a head covered with the most beautiful silver hair he had ever seen. No. Stop it. Harry told himself, reminding that voice that had always found Malfoy fascinatingly beautiful that they were enemies. Draco sat on the couch looking into the fire and Harry couldn't deny that Draco was beautiful, his features were softer and more relaxed as he sat there and his eyes were not as cold as they once were when he looked at Harry. "Draco?" Harry said hesitantly, but his voice full of curiosity, " I didn't know you sing".  
" I don't", Draco replied, more sharply than he had intended, " I didn't know you played". he said this more kindly, trying to make up for how rude he was with his first statement, which he was already kicking himself for." Oh, yeah, I kind of taught myself, but it's nothing compared to your voice, that was amazing." Malfoy was thanking any higher power that was out there that the room was dim, that way Harry couldn't see how much he was blushing. " Thanks, Harry," he said sheepishly, looking away from the other boy. 'Harry', Draco had called him 'Harry'. This may have seemed like something very minuscule to others, but Draco never called him 'Harry', and for some reason, it made Harry.....happy? He thought that's what it was, but after the war, he'd nearly forgotten the feeling.

"Mind if I..." Draco asked as he started to sit next to Harry, his voice trailing off as his eyes met the beautiful emerald ones that belonged to the boy that he loved. He didn't know when they first met in Madam Malkin's or back in second year what the feelings were that he felt for Harry, but he did now. He loved Harry Potter. "...Sure...," Harry's voice faltering as he looked back into Draco's smoky eyes that were almost sparkling - not clouded over and emotionless as they usually were when he looked at Harry. 'Draco has beautiful eyes', Harry thought, and he allowed the thought to course through his mind that everything about the boy that sat next to him was beautiful. 

Harry had never been this close to Malfoy before, now that he was so close he could see that Malfoy's sunken face was wet with his tears. Had Malfoy been crying? Surely this wouldn't have been the first time that Harry had seen him cry before. "Is everything alright Malfoy?", Harry asked, concerned for the boy. 'Why do you care? He wouldn't'; Harry thought, but he couldn't help it.

"I'm fine Potter", Malfoy said defensively. 

"I don't think so, you can tell me Malfoy, what's wrong?"

"Damn it, Potter, nothing's wrong! Why are you being so fucking nice?! All I've ever done is fuck up you're life and make you miserable! I don't even know why you saved me from that fire, I deserved to die! I don't deserve your kindness! Why do you even care?"

Why did he care?

"First off Malfoy, nobody deserves to die, especially not you, and I don't know why I care, I just do, okay? Why can't you just accept that another Human being might actually care about you!" Harry didn't know when he started yelling, but he had raised his voice considerably towards the end of his statement. Draco looked at him with a look of mild surprise. Harry cared for him? This made Draco's chest fill with butterflies but he didn't let Harry see it. "You - Harry Potter - care about me - Draco Malfoy? Bollocks. You hate me." Draco said as he looked over at Harry who seemed hurt by this comment even though it sounded like Draco was trying to convince himself of this rather than tell Harry of his own feelings. 

"I-I don't hate you Malfoy"

"Well, you should! I'm horrible to you and your friends, I insult you nearly e-every time I see you, I-I b-b-broke y-your-your nose, I'm a Death Eater for bloody christ's sake!" Draco said sobbing into this hands. Harry moved closer to Draco and wrapped his arm around the crying boy's shoulder and comforted him as best he could in such an awkward position. He said in a low whisper to the Slytherin prince "I really don't hate you Malfoy, I never did, and I don't think that I ever will, no matter what you say or what you do. You didn't choose this and I don't blame you for anything you've done - except for you stepping on my face - that hurt like hell." Draco laughed at his last statement and looked at him warmly, a smirk playing on his lips- "I don't think I ever hated you either Scarface." 

"Friends?" Asked Harry.

"Friends" Malfoy replied, to which they both smiled. Malfoy smiled, not his usual smirk, but a real genuine smile. 'He has a beautiful smile', Harry thought as he looked at Draco, who blushed furiously when he realized that Harry was looking at him, and Harry - who realized that he was staring at Draco-did the same.

 

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A/N

Hello my readers, I just have one quick favor to ask of you, I was going to write some triggering things like self-harm and suicidal thoughts and such into this but I just wanted to know if y'all are okay with that, please comment! Also, I was gonna start writing a new Drarry fic called Soulmates that may be a one-shot? Anyways, let me know if you would like to read that as well. Feel free to tell me what I can improve on or what's wrong with this chapter, there's always room for improvement!


	3. Realizing

Harry awoke the next morning on the velvet couch with a content looking Malfoy resting his head in Harry's lap. He couldn't help but smile at the boy, it was the first time he had felt at peace in a long time, and he was glad it was with Draco. Harry realized that he felt somewhat more rested than he usually did, and he thought it was because he didn't have any nightmares- and it was true, Malfoy was a comfort to him, but he looked at the watch Mrs.Weasley had given him for his seventeenth birthday - 7: 29 - they had overslept. 

"Crap!" Harry said, just loud enough for Draco to hear and wake up to. He looked up and smiled at Harry only for a second before realizing that he did and looked away, blush spreading across his face like a wildfire. "What's wrong?" Draco asked, turning back toward Harry who was momentarily lost in thought. 'There it goes again, he really does have a beautiful smile', Harry thought, before realizing that Draco had asked him a question. "Huh?" Harry asked, prompting Draco to repeat his question. Draco sighed, "Honestly Potter, get your head out of the clouds. Why did you wake me?".

"Oh, right, breakfast is starting, it's seven thirty-one," Harry said a pink hue dancing across his face. Draco shot up, " Well then what are we still doing here?!" he exclaimed, pulling Harry off the couch, resulting in their faces being so close that their noses nearly touched. Their eyes met and a fresh wave of rose fell upon their faces, darkening with every second spent just standing there, until Harry broke the silence. 

"Draco... I-I..." Harry studdered as Draco moved even closer to him, only to be whispered to, "We really should be going now Potty, your friends must be worried sick about where their precious golden boy has disappeared to". A rush of disappointment took over Harry as he replied gloomily "Yeah, I suppose we should, come on then", leading Draco out of the room. 

(A/N Ha! Did you think the kiss was coming? You thought wrong! Trust me, I fought back the urge to put it there but I felt like the story hasn't developed enough for such a monumental step, sorry. Anyways back to the story!)

The two boys walked into the Great Hall at separate times so that they would look as inconspicuous as possible, although Hary got an uneasy look from Hermione as Draco got one from Pansy. Hermione knew better than to question him about Draco in front of Ron, but Pansy questioned Draco until she turned blue "Where were you?" "Do you know how late it is?! Mealtime started 20 minutes ago! Blaise said you hadn't come back to your dorm! Why?" Pansy had asked before she realized that Harry had walked in a few moments before him, then it dawned on her. With whispered urgency she had asked him "Where you with Potter?!?!" he did not respond, but blushed ever so slightly and smirked as he reminisced about where he had found himself that morning. "YOU WERE!" Pansy squealed, unlike her boyfriend Blaise, she had known that Draco had feelings for Harry before he had even figured it out himself. "Draco, as your best friend you absolutely MUST tell me everything!". As Draco recited the events that took place the previous night, he felt slightly embarrassed for being so vulnerable with Harry, but Pansy loved every detail of it and was absolutely ecstatic that he and Harry had finally overcome their differences. When Draco finished telling Pansy about his night with The-Boy-Who-Lived (twice) breakfast was over and they had to head out to their first class of the day.

'Potions first thing in the morning-yay' Harry thought sarcastically as he made his way down to the dungeons with Ron and Hermione before realizing that they had first period with the Slytherin eighth years 'Draco will be there' Harry thought, the idea of potions becoming more appealing with the prospect of Draco's attendance. 

Since it was only October and Slughorn hadn't returned from St. Mungo's due to injuries obtained from the war, they had potions with Headmistress McGonagall, but as they walked into the classroom they saw the familiar face of Horace Slughorn who was beaming at his class. "Hello class, it is wonderful to be back with you all! Now, I understand that you have been having class with the headmistress, but she has told me that you have not had very many successful classes, so today we will have a class similar to our very first! The catch, however, is that instead of simply viewing and examining these potions, you will be brewing them. I have written Veritaserum, Polyjuice, Amortentia, and Felix Felicis on for pieces of parchment, which are in this small cauldron on my desk. Since we have lost a few students you will be working in pairs to accommodate all eight of you," Slughorn said merrily. The class looked around the room and grabbed who they wished to work with. Hermione paired with Ron and Pansy paired with Blaise, which left Harry and Draco friendless and with nobody to work with. "Ah, my two star pupils is there a better pair? I think not! You boys will work together, I will give you first pick come, Harry, pick a piece of parchment from the cauldron. " Harry shot a look at Draco before going to the front of the class to determine which potion would lead him to his doom. He stuck his hand into the cauldron and blindly chose a potion. When he finally picked one he pulled it out and read it, 'Amortentia, great,' Harry thought sarcastically as he made his way to the last desk in the back of the room to meet Draco in front of their cauldron. He sat beside Draco who made a face when Harry gave him the paper that said the name of the potion they were to be brewing. Once everyone had gotten their papers Slughorn told them to go to the supply closet and get the ingredients for their potions, which Draco did while Harry went over the instructions at least ten times in hopes that it would help him to not make as many mistakes as he usually would. 

Draco returned with the ingredients and began brewing the potion as Harry watched him. Draco looked at Harry and realized that the boy had been looking at him and hid his face behind his textbook as he felt his face grow hot. "Do you want me to help, Draco?" Harry asked, to which Draco blushed further at the use of his first name. "Um, could you add that purple vial while I stir it?" Draco asked Harry reluctantly, knowing that he was never really good at potions but not wanting to turn him down. "This one?" Harry asked, picking up a vial as Draco nodded. " Okay, pour it in... now." Draco told Harry. As he stirred the potion, Harry poured in the vial which turned the brew a violet color and started to bubble. "Oh no, I messed it up didn't I? Sorry, I always mess everything up!" Harry said as the potion bubbled. 'He's so cute when he's flustered' Draco thought. "Calm down Potter, just watch," He told Harry, who did as Draco said and saw the potion calming and turning a pearly white color. "See? It's finished, you didn't mess it up Potter, its fine.", Draco reassured him. "Oh," Harry said sheepishly, peering into the cauldron. Harry waved his hand in front of his face and turned to Draco, " You do know that there is such a thing as too much cologne right Malfoy? I can smell you from here!" Draco was confused at first, but a wave of realization hit him and he blushed as he said to Harry "I could say the same to you Potter" hoping that he would get the hint. "What are you talking about Draco? I'm not wearing any," Harry said, a look of confusion on his face. "Neither am I Potter Draco replied," as Harry figured out what Draco had meant. 'Shit, the Amortentia' Harry thought as his face reddened, "Oh". He got up from his stool and went to the front of the class to inform Slughorn that they had completed the potion and then excused himself from the class. Slughorn also excused Draco from class, but Harry wasn't there to see it, he was already halfway down the corridor. As Draco exited the classroom he looked up and down the corridor before he saw what he was looking for. "Harry wait!" he yelled as Harry turned down a corner.

 

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A/N

Hallo everyone, sorry for the cliffhanger, but I thought that that was a good place to end the chapter, don't you? Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, There is definitely more where that came from!


	4. Contact

"Harry wait!" Draco yelled, running down the corridor as Harry turned a corner, but when Draco did the same he did not find the raven-haired boy he was looking for. "Harry?", he said warily as he slowly made his way down the corridor before he felt a hand grab his arm and pull him to his side. "Ouch...What the-" Draco said as he hit the wall of a broom closet, hearing the door shut before he was cut off by a hand against his mouth.

He couldn't properly see his attacker at first, but as his eyes adjusted he could see the impossibly vivid green ones that stared at him, the face they belonged to just a little too close to his. The green-eyed boy slowly removed his hand, an action to which Draco was disappointed - he liked his touch. Now that his eyes were fully adjusted he could identify his attacker - although the eyes were a dead give away. Harry looked at Draco sympathetically and rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly before he began to speak. "Sorry I dragged you in here like that, I was just... embarrassed, I guess? I didn't even want to talk to you to be completely honest, but I knew I'd have to face you at some point. Listen, Draco, I know you probably don't feel the same, and I get that, it's fine if you don't, I already want to crawl in a hole and die most days anyway, but I would appreciate it if-" Harry's rambling was interrupted by a soft pair of lips colliding with his in the most gentle way possible. The kiss was passionate and filled with longing, Harry was surprised how soft Draco's lips were and how perfectly they fit with his. His hands mindlessly found their way towards the back of Draco's neck as the blond ran his hands through the unruly hair that belonged to the Gryffindor. The taller boy pulled away reluctantly from the other, resting his forehead on Harry's.

"Sorry, you were rambling and that seemed to be the most enjoyable way to shut you up", He smiled, "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that."

"How long have you wanted to do that?" Harry asked breathlessly, curiosity playing on his tone.

"Since second year I think" Draco replied cheekily, "but I think I've fancied you for longer".

"Oh really?" Harry said, a smirk creeping onto his face as he looked up at the other boy, pulling himself closer to the blond's face. "Mmm... No. I was just messing with you, wanted to see how embarrassed you'd be." Draco said with an amused face.

Harry's face fell and his eyes widened in fear. He haphazardly tried getting out of Draco's embrace, but he just held on tighter and chuckled. "Calm down Potter I was only joking", he said before pulling Harry into a chaste kiss, reassuring him that Draco was telling the truth. 

"So, how long have you fancied me then?" Draco asked Harry playfully. Just as Harry was about to answer, he had heard the footsteps of students growing louder, more feet adding to the sound of students marching to their classes. "Class is starting", Harry said reluctantly, not wanting to leave. "Meet me in the room of requirements tonight?" He asked as a last resort. "Of course, what class do you have next?" the Slytherin asked. "Transfigurations, you?" 

"Defense, I don't think our schedules overlap again today," Draco said, slightly disappointed. "See you tonight?"

"Definitely" the Gryffindor replied, his eyes lighting up at the thought that he would get to see him like this again.

And with that, both boys exited the broom closet they had squeezed into and parted ways for the rest of the day until they were to meet again.

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A/N

Hello everyone! I don't even know why I say that there aren't very many of you. 

Hello all! That's a little better, anyway, I know some authors may take longer to update than I do, but I like to get things done and I feel like I have been MIA for some reason. To make up for that, however, I have put in the kiss! It is officially unofficially Drarry! I still feel like it was a little fast, was it fast? I don't know, but I think it needed to happen, there was too much tension in the air for my liking. Welp, I hope you enjoyed this short update, and please leave comments, they are much appreciated.

Until next time,

-E


	5. Meeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: mentions of self-harm/ cutting

Classes couldn't go any slower for the rest of the day, but Harry couldn't care less, he had been thinking of Draco the entire time. Hermione had to redirect his attention toward the teacher more than a few times, but he couldn't help it, Draco was too hard not to think about. Who couldn't think about him- _with his soft lips, beautiful mercury eyes, gentle hands- and the way that their bodies fit perfectly together like they were made for each other_ \- "Harry!" Hemione whisper-shouted his name from the seat next to him. "Harry, you're doing it again! That's nearly five times every class that I've had to pull you out of a haze! Is everything all right?" Harry could tell that she was worried, she always is. He shook his head and gave a simple 'I'm fine' before resuming his note-taking.

Three hours later and Harry was in his dorm, sitting on his bed and not doing the homework that he had taken out to do before dinner. He was thinking about things, about Draco, but also about the lives that were ended because of him and how he shouldn't be happy. He felt guilty, innocent happy people that deserved to live died because of him- _'it was my fault'_ he thought, _'it was my fault all those people died, it's my fault Teddy doesn't have any parents', ' And what about the Weasleys? Fred died for me. They lost a son, a brother, and I, a friend. Its all my fault, I should not be alive to tell the tale of what happened. I deserved to stay dead. Nobody else will come back, so why should I?'_ When he had gotten up and made his way to his bathroom, he did not know, his consciousness came back when he felt a searing pain in his arm once- twice- three times- on either arm. There was red. There was water and a burn before pressure. Bandages. After he wrapped the majority of his forearm, he spelled the bathroom and his clothes clean- something that he had become quite good at since the war- and made his way down to dinner.

Harry entered the dining hall with all eyes on him as usual. Eventually, they look away, but the gaze of a certain Slytherin was consistent. Harry couldn't help but stare back, neither of them wanting to break the contact. This was noticed by Hermione, discrete as it may be, she always seems to know everything. She breaks the boys' gaze with a question. " So, Harry, how has Draco been? I've noticed a steady decrease in hostility as of late. Have you finally matured and put aside your differences?" Hermione asks Harry, who gives a wary answer.  
"As a matter of fact, Hermione yes we have, and I suggest you do the same, Ron."

" Me? I don't care for him or his company. He has offended Hermione on several accounts as well as assaulted you numeral times. I see no reason to forgive him."

"Oh Ronald, don't hinder yourself on such trivial matters, I have forgiven him as has Harry. There is no reason for you not to."

With the confrontation from his girlfriend, Ron opts for silence rather than a rebuttal.

Harry finishes his meal and excuses himself from the table, muttering something about a transfigurations assignment. He makes his way back to the dormitories and into the bathroom. He fumbles through a cabinet until he finds what he's looking for. He removes the lid and his bandages before applying the healing cream on his forearms. He doesn't want Draco to see his bandages, but healing the cuts completely would defeat their purpose - to feel pain. Afterall, that was the only thing he's been able to feel after... recent events... but Draco seemed to spark something in him he'd never felt before, just the thought of him made the day a little less glum. With Draco on his mind and his map in tow to wait, he walked to the room of requirements with a purpose.

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A/N

I'm back!!! Well... Hopefully at least. I know I've been on a kind of hiatus but I will update, have faith! I'm struggling with this plot and decided to take a break from it. The story seems a bit stagnant don't you think? I don't know, I'm my own worst critic. Anyways, if you have anything to say, please comment, you really do influence my writing and your opinions do matter very much to me.

Until next time,  
-E

 


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